I did not realise that I was actually hanging on to so much negative emotion that was actually controlling my life. I forgive people so that they can move on but I didn’t realise I often hold on to the negative emotion that is stopping me from existing at the vibration that I love.
While visiting my spiritual healer she asked me if “I forgive easily? “and of course I said “yes” because I thought I did. As I said, I forgive the other person involved so that they can move on with our relationship and ultimately their lives and yet she made me realise I still hold on to the anger, hurt, frustration, disappointment and sadness in my body.
I was blind sided again because I wasn’t who I thought I was. I was holding on to grudges that I didn’t even acknowledge. I realised I felt a lot of anger towards my dad for dying when I was three. It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t deliberately die but somewhere in my body I just felt resentment and anger towards him for bailing on us at such a young age. It seems irrational but it was holding me back from being my higher self. At my healing, I discussed this and for the first time ever I actually said out loud “I forgive you dad” which gave me a feeling of sheer relief and release.
I have been to many medium, psychics and spiritual healers over the years and my dad never came though. This made me think that he truly didn’t care about me, however the moment I said “I forgive you dad” I could feel him holding my hand , squeezing it like my nan used to. Then to my delight Nicole, my healer said “your dad is sitting next to you. He has been there your whole life but you were not at a vibration that could connect with him” Nicole described him to a tee. She was also laughing at him because she said “he is so cheeky!”
I feel like I now have a strong relationship with my dad, he has my back and walks through life with me. Even when others try to knock me down, I’m just like “Are you kidding ? Can’t you see this big, strong amazing guy standing behind me (and his beer gut!). I am now braver than I have ever been. Not only do I know the Universe has my back , I know my dad does too.
For the last month I have been focussing my meditations on forgiveness, sometimes the most random things come up, like the girl that threw my netball onto the road in year 3. But I acknowledge and the I realise. My vibration is no longer bogged down in negative emotions but soaring in the clouds.
I also met one of my spiritual guides at that healing. His energy was phenomenal but I will leave that for a whole other post.
Healing MySelf from Multiple Sclerosis has changed my life for the better. I’m grateful, I’m so glad you came but now MS you may go.
Thanks for reading